Dear Friends …
If you had to eliminate a dangerous and counter-productive word that’s commonly uttered in the workplace, what would it be? To be sure, there are scores of great dictionary candidates worthy of the delete key. My choice would be the word “they.”
Why “they” … why is it problematic? Two reasons! First, it can be symptomatic of US vs. THEM mindsets – thoughts and beliefs that divide organizations rather than uniting them. Second, and even more importantly, “they” far too often is a telltale indicator of passing the buck. And that’s a behavior that can be the eventual downfall of any team or organization. Not good!
Certainly, none of us have the power to actually erase a word from our language. But we can erase it from our vocabularies … and encourage others to do the same. Noted authors Eric Harvey and Al Lucia explain in their masterpiece handbook Walking the Talk Together(excerpted below).
Read this a few times and share it with your people. Then, challenge your team members to perform one simple action that’s guaranteed to ratchet-up the level of responsibility that everyone assumes and demonstrates: Replace “they” with “we.”
Excerpt from Walking the Talk Together
Ever wonder who they are? They seem to be everywhere. They must be a big and powerful group with a great deal of influence, because we sure do talk about them a lot:
- “They should know better!”
- “That’s their problem!”
- “They need to do something about this!”
- “It’s all because of them!”
- “They’re the ones who fouled things up!”
No need to ask if these sound familiar. Who among us hasn’t pointed a finger at them before?
“They” and “them” are common pronouns … part of normal, everyday speech. And when it comes to doing our jobs and walking the talk, they may be the absolute worst words in our language. Why? Just look at what “they” and “them” mean: OTHER PEOPLE, SOMEONE ELSE. You don’t have to be a genius to know that those words are dripping with non-responsibility.
Maybe it’s time we all did some word switching. Imagine what would happen – think of how our perspectives might change – if we stopped using “they,” “them,” and “their” altogether, and instead used “we,” “us,” and “our.” Let’s see…
- “(They) We need to do something about this!”
- “That’s (their) our problem!”
- “It’s up to (them) us!”
- “(They) We need to walk the talk.”
See and feel the difference? The next time you catch yourself starting to say or think the T-word (“they”), use “we” instead. The first step in taking responsibility is acknowledging that WE have it.
You know, pointing the finger at them probably is a waste of time anyways. We’re beginning to think they don’t exist. Every time we’ve gone looking for them, all we’ve found is US!
Lead well … LEAD RIGHT

Today’s Leadership Solution comes from the book:
Walking the Talk Together

Sharing The Responsibility For Bringing Values To Life
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on Friday, December 30th, 2011 at 2:40 pm and is filed under Leadership and Personal Development Center, The Leadership Solution.
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